happy weekend

just wanted to say HAPPY WEEKEND enjoy it all cuz it runs so fast and suddenlly it's Sunday again :P

fever hallucinations

it's been a week now since everybody in our home got this flu,fever thing . I'm more of a person who just ignore it but today I feel a little fever headache although I took a medicine which I totally don't believe that it works ,,,, anyways I've been working on my project report and I can't wait to start working on the 3D map , I've been loving how I sit and write those chapters non stop I even stay all day writing I mean it is tiring to find the right words our how to start in a new topic but I'm working on that , yesterday the mister complemented me by saying that my report is starting to shape beautifully it really made me happy cuz I thought I was lost a little , well actually I still think I'm lost here and there cuz acting the strong one is starting to tier me since I'm a person who HAVE to plan every single thing so there's no way a thing can go wrong cuz I'm also a person who hate to fail I just can't take it easily but I stand and try again and the second time wont ever be like the first , I still didn't like the word " move on " with my life cuz for a moment back then I've planed to be with the person I liked "loved" for at least 7 years <- that was my plan about my last relationship , but I wasn't seeing what was I doing , I've hurted the person I liked "loved" more than once but I never saw it and he never talked about it till it all went down the hill " as he said" I couldn't get it but since that day I've been thinking about it and I did got it but now it's too late to look back , so I've been rejecting whoever tries to be with me cuz nothing is going to be better than what I got there " that's what I think it is" but for real even if a guy liked you it wont ever work is at the end of the day I'll marry a guy who doesn't know I exist , he'll just ask his sisters or mother to look for a wife for him , or he might seen me in work .
What I'm trying to say is there is no " love" in this side of the world or at least my family you can't "love" a person because it will simply wont work the way I've planned for it , it's so stupid but this is how it works , my sister is getting engaged and they are hinting for his younger brother to purpose to me " I think" but I don't want to cuz I don't know him and I don't want to , I just hate that fact of " ow now we have to take all the girls from that family just because ... "
when someone starts talking to me about marrige I feel like my parents are giving me to a total stranger and asking me to love him and live my rest life with him , I just hate it so much from the deep of my broken hurted heart  , and I miss the person I truly loved before .

at the end of the day those are just my fever hallucinations .

beautiful memories

I was going through some picz and I saw this 101 dalmatian puppies and I had this sweet feeling of how beautiful my childhood was , now looking to the new cartoons are not nice and not having that magic the old ones got , and I'm only talking about the old disney Movies but if you came to the old anime we used to watch woooow it was another world even the way they drew it was different now it feels like it's not detailed as before just sketching quickly and showing it , I don't mean by all the anime and movies there is those few good ones still out there , here are just few of them that I could find and remember , enjoy